Some quotes

Some quotes

I realize I should have more solid references for most of these quotes, but they're difficult to find, and often times the quotes are simply "well known". I will attempt to fill them in as time allows though.

"Ma'am, trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it."

-- Barney Frank

"I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using."

-- Inigo Montoya

"Humor is everywhere, in that there's irony in just about anything a human does."

-- Bill Nye

"News is something someone wants to suppress, everything else is advertising."

-- Reuven Frank

"Planck's constant is a very very small number. The de Broglie wavelength of something like a piece of cheese in the fridge would very very tiny. The cheese would have to be subatomic size before quantum cheese effects would take over -- and then it wouldn't be identifiable as cheese any longer."


"All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit.

"I do not mean by this declaration to condemn those who believe otherwise; they have the same right to their belief as I have to mine. But it is necessary to the happiness of man, that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.

"It is impossible to calculate the moral mischief, if I may so express it, that mental lying has produced in society. When a man has so far corrupted and prostituted the chastity of his mind, as to subscribe his professional belief to things he does not believe, he has prepared himself for the commission of every other crime. He takes up the trade of a priest for the sake of gain, and in order to qualify himself for that trade, he begins with a perjury. Can we conceive any thing more destructive to morality than this?"

-- Thomas Paine

"Does she have a PhD in crackpottery?"

-- Me

"Tom Cruise interview, hot young kidnapped blondes, runaway brides, MJ freakshow, shark bite victims, Sean 'hardball' Hannity and Alan 'whipping boy' Colmes discussing conjugal visits with Terry Schiavo... I just picture this 4 foot diameter pipe pushing out a solid wall of primordial sulferous festering viscuous brown ooze into my living room every time I turn on the tube."

-- Red State Mike

"I often get letters, quite frequently, from people who say how they like the programs a lot, but I never give credit to the almighty power that created nature, to which I reply and say, 'Well, it's funny that the people, when they say that this is evidence of the almighty, always quote beautiful things, they always quote orchids and hummingbirds and butterflies and roses.' But I always have to think too of a little boy sitting on the banks of a river in west Africa who has a worm boring through his eyeball, turning him blind before he's five years old, and I reply and say, 'Well presumably the god you speak about created the worm as well,' and now, I find that baffling to credit a merciful god with that action, and therefore it seems to me safer to show things that I know to be truth, truthful and factual, and allow people to make up their own minds about the moralities of this thing, or indeed the theology of this thing."

-- Sir David Attenborough

"An empty head is not really empty; it is stuffed with rubbish. Hence the difficulty of forcing anything into an empty head."

-- Eric Hoffer

"A lot of people hate my skepticism, and I think I understand why. The psychics offer wonders and endless possibilities in a world that often seems difficult and mundane. They promise health, wealth, wisdom, eternal life. But if you examine the record, it's not the psychics but the hard-nosed scientists who have actually delivered the things that improve human life. And, to me, science describes a world far more interesting than any psychic fantasy. It's a good world -- not perfect -- but it's ours. So we'd better learn to live with it, the way it is."

-- James Randi

"In my opinion, nothing occurs contrary to nature except the impossible, and that never occurs."

-- Galileo Galilei

"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit."

-- Reverend Jim Peasboro, The Devil in the Machine

"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to greater danger. It works the same in any country."

-- Hermann Goering, second in command of the Third Reich

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."

-- Mark Twain

"I've played so much guitar it'd make your ass hurt."

-- Guitar Gabriel

"[Name omitted] has the writing skills of a fourth grader on mescaline."

-- Me

"You can wire up a dead rat to a SIMM socket and the PC BIOS memory test would pass it just fine."

-- Ethan Benson

" 'Subtle with a capital S.' That's something I gotta add to my lexicon."

-- Dan Laursen

"Some people are like defective playdough -- easily impressionable, but not always accurately impressionable."

-- ScorLibran on Hydrogen Audio

"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, and not those who know much, who positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science."

-- Charles Darwin

"They (the Christian clergy) believe that any portion of power confided to me, will be exerted in opposition to their schemes. And they believe rightly: for I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility to every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

-- Thomas Jefferson

"The Government of the United States is not in any sense founded on the Christian religion."

-- Excerpt from the Treaty of Tripoli, which was passed by unanimous vote by the US Senate in 1797

"The young do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore they attempt the impossible -- and achieve it, generation after generation."

-- Pearl S. Buck

"Gebt mir eine Frau die Bier liebt und ich erobere die Welt."

"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."

-- Kaiser Wilhelm II

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."

-- Dave Barry

"The Church is near but the road is icy. The bar is far away but I will walk carefully."

-- Russian Proverb

"I do not feel obligated to believe that the same God who has endowed us with senses, reason and intellect has intended us to forego their use."

-- Galileo Galilei

"Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?"

-- Mark Twain, Huckleberry Finn

"We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

"The earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light.

"Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity -- in all this vastness -- there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It's been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known."

-- Carl Sagan

"If I were God, I would spend all day creating ironic situations."

-- Brian Decker

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children...

"This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, "The Chance for Peace", April 16, 1953

"The bomb will not start a chain-reaction in the water converting it all to gas and letting the ships on all the oceans drop down to the bottom. It will not blow out the bottom of the sea and let all the water run down the hole. It will not destroy gravity. I am not an atomic playboy, as one of my critics labeled me, exploding these bombs to satisfy my personal whim."

-- Vice Admiral William P. Blandy, Commander, Joint Task Force One, Operation Crossroads July 25, 1946.

"I think it's best if I try to be as irrational as possible."

-- Me